Saturday, February 9, 2008

....and may all your (retirement) days be fortuitous

A couple of years ago your SRN editor wanted to design an all-purpose greeting card, and it happened that he had just acquired his first personal computer. You can see how hard he studied the exercise on his monitor, moving lines and colors around until it came out right. As at the left. The card even then was too late for Willie the milkwagon horse who finally took his last ninety degree turn, skyward, never to be seen again. But, Willie, this one's for you, wherever you are......................
etch-a-sketch; kindness for Willie the milkwagon horse

The milk wagon horses of my childhood
didn't know it themselves
but their owners did:
the gas engine was about to retire them.

For years these faithful draft horses
delivered the milk from the dairy
to our doors every morning early
and knew their routes by heart.

Only the slightest movement of the reins
would affect their stopping and going.
Our town is laid out mostly in a street grid
of sharp right angle corners and

every intersection posed a straight ahead
or 90 degree left or right decision.
These old horses almost drove themselves
after years of neighborhood clip-clopping.

They stood and waited and shat in a canvas bag
while their bib-overalled drivers
put the iced, clinking glass bottles in the racks
and carried them to our milk chutes.

Brave children would put some grass
up to the docile beast's bit-laden mouth
or a windfall apple or pear
while the driver wasn't looking.

The horse on our route was Willie
and he was so beaten by his wearisome
same old-same old
that he would not acknowledge us at all.

And when he was retired at long last
and put out to pasture
Willie was such an old horse
He could learn no new tricks

I heard he moved around
among the cows and other animal fellows
In a series of 90 degree turns only,
ploddingly, no galloping for poor Willie!

But each day he was called in for dinner early
To give him time to negotiate to the feed trough,
90's by 90's, before the food was gone to the gullets
of his less habituated pasture-mates.

Small measures of kindness for Willie:
no gold watch
but a deferential dinner call, behavior-mod fame
and medical insurance against the glue factory.

[David Dix 1-26-01]

……………………………………


Friday, February 8, 2008

Yes, Virginia, there is a RACCOON CITY.........

r
SEE?

sleepless in Cedar Falls



say no more

OLD VELVET DRAPERY SAMPLE, ANYONE?



SEWER RACCOONS

A rash, an "outbreak" of Sewer Raccoons
continues in Waukesha;
four coon servants of the blind King Coon
living beneath the city in his improvised
throne room
were seen simultaneously emerging
from a storm grate

These audacious coons
are gentle burglars
serving their liege
by gathering items
from his regal shopping lists
usually under cover of darkness

They rove about furtively
which gives strength to
the belief that they
are possibly harmful

Good heavens
what's so bad about their
meager wants
- bits of broken glass
and bottle caps?

The king needs a royal cape
and what better way to adorn him
than with a discarded purple velvet
drapery sample and the colorful trash
found in our street gutters?

I say live in harmony with
our subterranean friends
and be amused, not scared,
when they tip-toe about
touching us

Sometimes, yes, they go beyond
their usual shyness
particularly at Halloween
when they gently reach up pantlegs
and frighten children sufficiently
that they drop their sacks
of candy

Such pickings
should not be denied
the masked faux raiders
who do not poke guns
in anyone's back and say
"Stick-em UP!"

They come bearing
explicit shopping lists
from the King:
maybe a piece of metal
bent just so,
or a melon, or a piece
of pizza in the gutter

Nothing we're ever going to miss
No breaking and entering
no howls or shrieks
these raccoons are more afraid of us
than we are of them
except at HALLOWEEN

I say we welcome the raccoons
to our neighborhoods
Our streets are much cleaner
for their scavenging
Just imagine their King
and the cape he wears

Money cannot buy such
underground elegance

The King,
so old he cannot walk
can no longer negotiate
the long sewer distances
from the throne room
cavern far below the
old downown post office
to the far-flung
street-level residential grates

In truth
he is blind
from too many years
of being kept in the dark

His crest may read
"Veritas Est Lux"
Light, >>>let there be more light<<<

I know the coons are
looking for a miner's
helmet for him

and

I know the problem of Halloween
out-and-out theft
would be cured by tying
strings around childrens' pantlegs

[dd]

it all comes down to THIS


UNVARNISHED TRUTH

When I was a small child in the early 1940s
I would get to visit my grandparents
In Cedar Falls Iowa
And they had things there that
Greatly annoyed me
Each summer

The good things mostly offset the bad
But I am weird today because
My grandfather used to cut the heads
Off chickens in the backyard
And he thought it was funny
When they would run after me
With their heads off

One time a headless chicken chased me
Right up the back porch steps
And beat itself against me
While I tried to escape through
A screen door that would not open
Because it was hooked on the inside

The dying chicken acted like a wind-up toy
Stuck in a corner
And it just kept thrashing against me
Until I became a different person forever
And the chicken ran down
And Grandma sped in from her garden
Like a fast ship
Her starched dress billowing like a sail

Otherwise mostly it was fun there
Except for when the peacocks wailed
Crazily in the night
And the house creaked and groaned
And I writhed under the
Hied-up bedclothes scared and sometimes
With chiggers burrowing
In my penis

Every summer I could look forward
To a nail-polished penis
The special remedy of the house
For these nasty no-see-ums
I never experienced anywhere else
But there at 2009 Clay Street
They were attracted to me

And they unfailingly established
Housekeeping in my penis
Rarely was I bitten anywhere else
It was a mind-bending horror
To suffocate bugs slowly that way
Until 6-12 came along later
Then my life through chemistry
Became a better thing
But too late for my overall future

There is no way of assessing
What lasting damage was wrought
By that chicken and the chiggers
What I might have become
without their rude attacks
Upon my space and privacy
And that is
the unvarnished truth


[dzd 8-24-98]

Diogenes' lamp


Were you pulled by the 400?


The 400 was the Chicago and Northwestern's
First mile-a-minute
Steam-operated streamliner
Regularly scheduled to operate
Over a distance of 200 miles
Its name came from its unheard-of ability
To pull a train 400 miles
In less than 400 minutes
And the name suggested the future
The next decade

The 400 was introduced on January 2, 1935
And in 1936
It got the first oscillating headlamp
A safety feature for high-speed trains
People and animals weren't used to such swiftly-approaching
Danger

Here comes the 400
Waukesha kids would shout
Those of us lucky enough to live
Near the tracks in the 1940s

We would run down through Silurian Park
Then source of still-coveted Waukesha water
To the train depot to see the 400
Hoping it would stop
In its mighty glory
Sometimes it even had an American flag
Flying above the oscillating safety lamp

I walk that way now
Water debunked
A legend gone plain
Flags out of style among the hip
The war is over
Trains rusty drones
Competing with trucks
The good buddies of the roadway
In our way
Maybe sporting flag decals
Next to permit decals on their window glass
Beating out the iron rails
Not quite yet no never

But in the 40s the 400 ruled
Among the regular high smoke-stacked
Black as coal
Guts-hanging-out-for-all-to-see
Steam engines
Pausing at the Waukesha depot
At the foot of Silurian park to take on water
Give entertainment to TV-less children
And get their giant wheels oiled

By trainmen in bib overalls
Their bucket oil cans with specially long spouts
And their watch chains guarding
Marvelous timepieces tucked in
Those upper blue and gray striped pockets
Watches that were cherished
Possessions
Setting those men apart
Amidst the bursts of steam trackside
Like dry-ice effects on a stage

Times were hard and my mother and grandmother
Would warn me at dusk
Don't go down there
There are tramps down there
And there were sometimes
But I never saw one that meant
Me any harm
Come on

Like the 400 and the other plainer trains
The tramps were transitory
Unlike today's homeless
They were said to hole up briefly
In camps outside of town
Sometimes they would beg door-to-door
And leave a secret mark
Where they were treated kindly

I featured them cooking stews in old tin cans
Staying away, embarrassed
But I never truly met a tramp to find out
They didn't seem to want to know us
And we didn't seem to want to know
Them in the 1940s

My church was and is just on the other side
Of those train tracks
And I don't remember them teaching us
To worry about these homeless people
Like they encourage us to do now
But they might have done
I was little
I wondered

The mighty 400 flew through town
Sometimes at night without stopping
It's oscillating headlamp showing
Like Diogenes' lantern
It might have been looking for an honest man
An honest boy
An honest tramp

It was an elite train bent on getting
Where it was going
It's trainmen a cut-above
Their denims seemed starched
Their watches looked even better
The uncluttered lines of this engine
Showed little of what was going on
Inside

A thing of wonder in the change of the age
I saw men stopped at railroad crossings
Interrupted by the coursing 400
Not cursing their bad luck
But getting out of their cars and doffing their hats
At the swiftly arriving and disappearing
Engineer who would wave

An eddy of wind left behind
Might swirl a newspaper and dust up into the air
And in a moment the 400 was gone
What happened?

There are still pictures of the 400 in the museum here
And a local tavern across from the depot
Still bears its name
Reliquaries hold the engines remaining now

We would put our small feet on the tracks
To feel the power of the still-out-of-sight
Incredible behemoth 400
Horn blaring its look out
No old-fashioned bell dinging
Look out for the swinging beam

So connected
We felt
We were going somewhere

And the tramps rode the rails
A mile a minute sometimes
If they were pulled by the 400


[David Dix 1936 - ]

having dominion



What next?

The sixteen inches of snow
The other day
Left such a load on the tall
Skinny juniper
That it began to bend
Under the weight


Now with the snowfall
A day ended
The snow is still piled up
On the branches
And icicles have formed
Under some mitigating sun

People advise me
To please shake the snow
From the tall skinny tree

But then I wouldn’t have
Had the chance
To photograph it
With the added icicles

Through the screen
Raised behind a storm glass
Suggesting
The temporary nature
Of all things

[dd 2-8-08]