hoosier writes:

Dear Sewer Raccoon News:

Thought you'd be interested to know that a family of Chinese raccoons have a fine restaurant in Hoosierland that you might want to try sometime. The industrious family of coons runs the entire operation, mom cooking, dad cashiering and maitre'd-ing, the children bussing and waiting on tables. A brother-in-law serves as bouncer and manager of their basement wardrobe of miniature human-being costumes, for these enterprising raccoons, though making their exit after closing unfrocked down a nearby sewer, suit up again in the morning topside (except Sunday) for their popular noon buffet. The "Koons" want to appear in this coon hunting region as non-coons.

Patrons think their burglar masks are merely a clever schtick, not unlike the "flare" worn by McDonald's employees.

They have adopted a Chinese/American spelling of their business name, using the letter K to minimize their chances of being discovered as actual raccoons, and possibly being shot, or at the least, treed by Indiana dogs.

The caveat, SR News and readers, is to be careful of the crackerjack-like gutter prizes these raccoons sometimes hide in their food plates, to double-put-one-over on their customers. Not unknown are bits of broken glass, tin foil and bottle caps.

^.^