DID YOU SAY...........

Under ground? Did you say "Under GROUND"?

TODAY, 4-18-08, an interview took place with the ancient King Coon who resides underground in Waukesha below the old downtown post office, ironic gathering place above and under ground - for Waukesha's royalty.

The King is blind because he's been below grade so long. Years and years and years. He claims to remember Morris Butler and Col. Dunbar. He would not give his exact age even to this aged interviewer, nor would his guide coons, deliverers of all of his needs or whims.

As readers of this newspaper of the electrons know, the King has long been cared-for exclusively by his raccoon minions, who run errands for him, nightly. Foraging for the good of the vast sewer raccoon community, these small burglars collect nothing that would cause the above-ground residents much harm, nor cost them heavily.

"While, yes, we now live in sewers," the King said, "we used to have the run of this whole place."

He allowed as how some humans choose to live underground, but usually only in order to avoid jail. He mentioned Father Dan Berrigan, but he didn't have to, because we have a hallowed photo of Berrigan in our office. He had to have been blind not to have seen it.

The King remarked that his raccoon runners who peer into the windows of Waukeshans have reported very few likenesses of Dan Berrigan on any interior walls. He is legendary among sewer raccoons and others, however.

Our picture is situated out of coonhunter-shot of any windows. We know the peerers are out there. We don't wish to enflame or rabidly endance anyone, man or beast.

There will be other reports of our visit(s) with King Coon, continued.