Friday, November 20, 2009

"Whole lotta shakin' goin' awn"

MAGIC, Wholly
RACCOON NEWS MANUFACTURES RELIGIOUS ARTIFICES
^.^ ^.^ ^.^
We have learned that there is another use for the ubiquitous St. Joseph statue. Of course, it has long been known that burying a St. Joseph effigy can result in quick real estate sales. Many Realtors and their satisfied clients know that. But, as far as the SRN and this former Realtor knows, it has never been discovered, uncovered, just how that works. We know, though, from experience that it can. Witness the quick sale of Rev. David Hansen's abode upon interring such a statue in the Hansen front yard. There were other examples.
We are informed that the burying of St. Joseph's statue doesn't work quite as well in the current real estate market. But remembering the ancient rite, and having lots of unused St. Joseph plastic statues from the Holy Hill Chinese gift shop, we decided in a 'waste not, want not' mode to resurrect one of those statues from the dusty, overflowing basement bins where we've been foraging.
Shaking rattles made from home-grown gourds has helped immensely here as a rite before meditating, (see illustration below), and for some other things. So, this writer with far too much time on his hands, coupled with the onus of performing charity, gave a super-powerful rattle to his friend Tom Bentzedrine as they parted in the parking lot after yesterday's visit.
Powerful if for no other reason that the wimpy light gourd seeds were removed in the hollowintg-out process and replaced with heavy steel shot, like small ball bearings. Actually, they are deadly sling-shot ammo. Recycled items; we do not kill.
Yet, be advised: anyone shaking this rattle is definitely serious.
It is believed (here) that Rev. Bentzedrine's new rattle will help him in his quest for employment, and he may want this kind of magic. Written on the lower 'barrel' of the loud rattle is HI, MY NAME IS TOM, AND I'LL BE YOUR (COMMUNION) SERVER TODAY!
.......................
Music can help to get psyched:


NOTE: all our rattles come with steel shot