gal a mine

CALAMINE LOTION

Here’s a toast I want to give
To a dear friend
Calamine lotion

For mosquito bites and hornet stings
Folks think you’re just the potion
Your fame has spread
Just like a rash
From here to the great land
Of Goshen

To poo-poo your
over-the counter
Power
Let no one take a
Notion

We swab you
On the part of us
That’s harmed by sting or bright sun
Then lay back and feel your chalky pink
Commence the soothing
function

How could we make it through
The summer
Without your balm
that someone
Way back when thought up for us
The extremist
Of all itching unction

So lift those glasses, yes
Lift them high
To Calamine you deserve rank
So thronely

We would if fact quaff a pink
Drink to you
If you weren’t for
External Use Only

[David Dix Sept. 1980]

……………………………………….

Of course, NOW you gotta cover your posterior:

Do NOT use Calamine Lotion if:
you are allergic to any ingredient in Calamine Lotion
Contact your doctor or health care provider right away if any of these apply to you.
Before using Calamine Lotion:
Some medical conditions may interact with Calamine Lotion. Tell your doctor or pharmacist if you have any medical conditions, especially if any of the following apply to you:
if you are pregnant, planning to become pregnant, or are breast-feeding
if you are taking any prescription or nonprescription medicine, herbal preparation, or dietary supplement
if you have allergies to medicines, foods, or other substances
Some MEDICINES MAY INTERACT with Calamine Lotion. However, no specific interactions with Calamine Lotion are known at this time.
This may not be a complete list of all interactions that may occur. Ask your health care provider if Calamine Lotion may interact with other medicines that you take. Check with your health care provider before you start, stop, or change the dose of any medicine.